missing Palo

It never fails. I complain and complain and complain, and whenever an opportunity for change comes along, I get squeamish. I can talk myself into anything. I can convince myself that I’m stuck in a bad situation and would do ANYTHING for a reprieve. But when it comes time to move on, I get anxious and suddenly cling to that thing I’ve been hating. Stockholm Syndrome?

This happened to me a little over a month ago when I moved from Palo Alto to San Diego. Whenever I have anxiety about change, I cry and watch Teen Mom power through and put one foot in front of the other. The anxiety is never enough to prevent me from taking action, but there is almost always an emotional rebound that comes with it. Today, my friends, I’m finally feeling it.

When I lived in Palo I was in a really crappy studio, like 400 sq. ft. I could constantly hear my neighbors upstairs (several kids…stomping). There was no dishwasher and no washer/dryer in unit. The only bonus was that it was in a beautiful neighborhood and I loved going on walks. I chose that apartment so I could save up and eventually have enough of a financial cushion to leave my current job.

At the time I couldn’t wait to get out. I couldn’t wait for the next big thing. I’m 100% glad I moved and I LOVE San Diego. But I haven’t been able to fall into my routine here yet. It’s easy to look back and think about how organized I used to be, with my daily walks and clean living space. I just have to remember that it wasn’t all sunshine and roses, and it took me time and effort to create that little lifestyle, and I can rebuild it here.

Sidenote – I’m terrified that when it comes time to leave my day job, I will be inundated with that same fear of leaving. I guess I’ll have to cross that bridge when I get there. Anyway, here’s a little photo tribute to Palo, taken last December on a walk through the ‘hood (we had a very late turning of the leaves in Cali). There was constant beauty. Palo, I miss you but I’m moving on!

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3 Comments

  1. Nice blog! Definitely bookmarking this

    Reply
  2. All about anywhere !! BUT CALI

     /  February 16, 2012

    I don’t know why you liked that place. The weather is the only good thing. You trip over people everywhere and pay through the nose to do it. I bet SD is ten times better.you will be much happier there no matter what u end up doing

    Reply

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